Always Faithful

Why faithfulness (still) matters.

Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful), the motto of the US Marine Corps resonates with their expectation of soldiers not only seeing missions through to the end, but of standing with one another through thick and thin.

There is no harm in seeing marriage as a mission to accomplish where no one will leave the other behind until they cross the finishing line together.

A quote says that ‘while the biggest hurts come from relationships, so also does the greatest healing’. Would such healing be possible without faithfulness?

Sometime last year I read about a website that allows married people arrange to have affairs. It wasn’t the existence of the website that shocked me as such sites have been in existence for long. What struck me was the willingness of some who had used the website for their ‘hook-ups’, to come out and speak of their experiences with pride and joy and advocate for others to use the same website. They had proudly put aside the essential marital ingredient of faithfulness.

A man and a woman who come together in marriage pledge to be one in every way including giving access privileges to their bodies to no one else. In that place of commitment and openness or ‘nakedness’ to one another, all feelings of shame from old wounds and experiences are hopefully thrown out the window and the door of the heart is opened to receiving fulfilling and healing love.

Here are three reasons for being always faithful:

1. It’s mentally and emotionally healthy. There’s a huge amount of drain and energy that goes into covering up an affair. It’s worth asking if the momentary or even continual thrill is worth losing personal peace over. Contrary to some thinking out there, no one is being ‘true to themselves’ by pursuing an affair rather than suppress the desire to do so. While not advocating a life full of suppressed feelings, an affair, no matter how meaningful to the parties involved, will always involve spoken or unspoken lies. No one who lives a lie is being their authentic self. Authenticity is truth. Truth brings freedom.
2. Don’t let the exciting keep you from the enduring. While that fresh-faced man or woman may present a promise of unending thrill, it’s usually untrue. Even the greatest excitement could wear away over time. Why throw away a lifetime love or even a promising, young relationship for present thrill? Okay, what if your relationship is in a rut? Why not take up the personal challenge of reigniting lost passion rather than pursue the low road of an affair?
3. Posterity will reward you for it. A good name is worth far more than the stigma of a relationship betrayal. Think of how many big-name product endorsement deals and business relationships have been lost to exposed affairs. While it may not be popular to say this in a ‘me first’ world, seek honour above personal enjoyment and you will be better for it.

Faithfulness is a beautiful thing. Faithfulness in love is a gift to be expected. Faithfulness in marriage ought to be a non-negotiable expectation.

PS: There’s a reason why dogs have long been called man’s best friend. They’ll often wait faithfully for their owners to return home at the end of a long, busy day without the owner having to worry about where they’ve been. They’re loyal hunting companions, good company for a stroll, great for a laugh and provide content for great YouTube videos. So, as you think about how to ensure or restore faithfulness in your relationship or simply encourage it in one you know, enjoy the clip below.