The Joyful Edge of Kindness

Kindness is hard. There. That’s the post.

After living through a pandemic, ongoing nation-state conflicts, political turmoil, media manipulation (including social media), and an epidemic of obsession with self, it would be easy to become cynical and retreat to a bubble of being good and kind only to your direct contacts. But there lies the work of kindness.

For a moment during the COVID pandemic, frontline workers were celebrated for the sacrifices they made so we could all get our groceries, healthcare and whatever else they enabled. While many have held on to the appreciation for what they do, I wonder how many others have gone back to pre-pandemic attitudes toward them. It would be easy to see them as means to an end – get what you need from them and be on to your business. You could however choose to do the work of being kind to them every time they serve you.

Kindness is work.

Life happens to everyone, but we (can) choose our attitudes. We can choose how we respond in times of opposition, adversity, or uncertainty. This could be as simple as how you respond when someone cuts in front of you in a line or in traffic, when someone makes a nasty comment on your social post, or when you face unexpected trauma. Perhaps those ‘rude’ folks are just not so self-aware as to realise their behaviours are not socially acceptable. Or they are aware and just choose to be nasty. Either way, you can choose a kind response ranging from letting them have that moment or gently bringing them into awareness of the effect of their behaviour on you and others. They may not take your correction and even become ruder, but you’ll leave an imprint on them. Do however always consider your safety when responding to poor social conduct. Assess the moment and consider walking away when it’s just you and them in that space. Imagine how powerless online trolls would become if they no longer got the angry responses they’re fishing for. Why not disempower some trolls by not feeding their hunger for negative energy or cheap thrills? Your act of kindness to them could be in denying them the attention they seek, or creatively redirecting the moment in your favour.

If you’re beset by unexpected trauma, take a pause. You need some self-care ranging from seeking professional help to praying, to finding a trusted person to speak to. Pausing gives you time to process or release the shock so you don’t take it out on others who have no idea what happened to you. If you need to be away from people for a while, do just that.

Don’t let kindness become an edge case in your life. Choose it daily. Always be kind to yourself, and to everyone you encounter.

To your joyfulness!