She’s So Pretty

Harassment is never okay.

I was on a tram a few days ago when two men came on board at a stop. They had a dog with them, beer cans in hand and a carton of more beer in tow. They seemed out to ‘enjoy’ themselves with one of them boasting of ‘drowning’ (pseudonym for being drunk I presume!). They spoke at the top of their voices, kept the dog off the leash (which by the way wasted no time in jumping on the seats and putting a paw on my knee. How nice.).

There was an apparent age difference between these men with the younger one likely in his mid to late twenties. The older man appeared to be at least in his forties but with a youthful demeanour. The younger of the men wasted no time in passing comments at a young woman seated opposite him who on his questioning told him she was twenty. He openly flirted with her, commenting on her beauty, her body (in no subtle terms) and how ‘sexy’ she was. The younger man especially talked with her, asking if she thought his ‘uncle’ (the older man) was good looking. They conversed as she continued to laugh and giggle while he made several lewd comments including a not very well veiled attempt at describing tattoos on a certain part of the male anatomy.

The girl appeared to be a decent person who tried her best to make light of a potentially volatile situation. She probably needed to keep these two men with clearly diminished responsibility from doing something none of them would be proud of. This indeed is to her credit for handling the situation with humour. However, on starting to take her leave from the tram, the younger man wasted no time in touching her back side as she walked past him. She told him not to do that and left the tram. He then proceeded to apologise to everyone on the tram for what he just did, with his ‘uncle’ also chiding him for his conduct.

Who or what is to blame in this event? Can we blame the girl for playing along at the time and not taking a firm stand to put a stop to what was going on before it got as far as unwelcome physical contact? Do we blame the alcohol? Do we blame the continual sexualisation and objectifying of women in media and entertainment? Is there actually anyone to blame or was it just another event to be overlooked?

No woman should ever have to be treated as an object to indulge male sexual fantasies. Core values of having a right to feel safe, valued and respected should never be overlooked. Where has chivalry gone? What lessons are being taught to young boys and men? It really is time to take a long, hard look at the alpha male mentality that has taught generations of men to define themselves by their real or imagined sexual prowess.