Show Up

How to be known

Are you a hider who doesn’t like to stand out? Are you someone that habitually becomes as inconspicuous as possible? If so, I have a question for you. Are you happy?

If you are genuinely happy while making the deliberate choice not to be noticed in your everyday life, you need not read further. If however you know you’re an unhappy hider, then please keep reading.

Sometimes, hiding is absolutely the right thing to do. For instance, if you’re studying for an examination, putting a thesis together, or completing a personal project – you may need to hide away for a while to get done what you must, and do it right. It is unproductive to divide your attention among many things and plans when you have a life changing activity to complete. Do that thing that will change your life; then go be with your people or do that other thing.

Beyond the times when it is necessary to hide yourself away, if playing less than interferes with your everyday life, then it’s time to show up. How do you show up when you’ve become so used to holding back? Sometimes a drastic change or two might just do the job. At other times, a planned approach might be better.

Here are some suggestions on showing up this year:

1. Book in your annual holiday early. If your situation permits, pause and do it now or right after you finish reading this. Block up to a week off and thank me later. Why a holiday when talking about showing up? For some who have been used to not being the main player in their own story, self-care may have taken the back seat. If you’re showing up for everyone else, you’re probably not showing up for you. So, have a holiday to look forward to this year and start putting savings away to make it a memorable time and make sure you show up for that holiday. Do not cancel your plans for anyone. Unless of course it’s for a life-defining reason. By booking your holiday in now, you have set a target to look forward to.
2. Become the lead character. Now, don’t go usurping anyone’s role here! It just may be that the reason you’re not quite showing up is that you don’t know what to do with yourself. If that’s you, take some time to reflect on what you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t. Maybe life got in the way. You may have had to look after others and that’s okay. But your dreams still matter. If you already know what you’ve always wanted to do, plan it out and get started. If you don’t know, grab a journal, pad, or note taking app and fill in the blanks in the prompts below which might help you clarify your passion to change or affect the world and what skills you can bring to doing so.
   • I feel frustrated or angry when I see or hear _____________________________.
   • People have always told me I am good at _______________________________.
   • I ___________________________ with little to no effort. It just comes naturally.
   • If I could choose only one thing to do for a living and never need to worry about money it would be _________________________.
3. (Re)build your network. Identify those who inspire you to do your best work and come as your best self, then be around them more, or get more of them.
4. Do the hard tasks. The next time you’re presented with a task or opportunity that you think is above your skill or knowledge level, take it on. Don’t reject it. Especially if it’s something you’re interested in but you just don’t think you have what it takes. You’re being presented with a chance to show up and demonstrate just how amazing you are. Surprise yourself and everyone else, then watch as more opportunities come to you.
5. Be authentic. If you have toxic or unwanted character traits, deal with them or get support to do so. Beyond that, don’t pretend to be who you think people want to see. Let them see who you are. You are exactly who your network needs you to be. If you weren’t, someone else would occupy that space. So, be less chameleon, and more lion.
6. Be present. Go to more events and family or friends gatherings this year. Your presence affirms the love in your heart for them.
7. Reflect. Bookmark this post, set a reminder and revisit it at the end of the year. Check off how much of the above you achieved, what impact they had on you and others, and celebrate your wins. The things you didn’t quite get to? Well, there stands another year before you. Just show up again. And again. And again. And ag… You get it.

Like billions of others, you made it into this year. That’s special because now, you get to show up for everyone in your circle and beyond. Go do that. I would love to hear your show up story.