Stop! Don’t Kill Your Helper

How to receive help.

We thrive best when we are in fulfilling relationships. While our completeness cannot be found in people, we often need people (‘helpers’) who help us get to our place of fulfilment. 

Care must therefore be taken in each of our relationships not to ‘kill’ (figuratively speaking of course!) these helpers.

Here are 6 helper ‘killers’ to avoid:

1. Expecting that the people who get you and can help you will have a certain appearance or come in a preferred way. Anyone can help you. However not everyone will help you. That’s why you must be open to receive help from anyone. Great things often come in unlikely packages.
2. Personal fears and insecurities.  Do not let wrong methods of pursuing ambitions drive you to extremes of behaviour that would harm relationships that would have been of benefit to you. Scheming for favour just to get ahead of others can be very off-putting and counter-productive. Such behaviour sets off alarm bells in those watching you. When you next hear that someone is about to be promoted ahead of you, tame those insecurities quickly by celebrating with them. Be where you ought to be, do what you ought to be doing, run your own race and avoid irrational fears such as that of being replaced. You are less likely to fear replacement when you make your role your own.
3. Biases and prejudices. What biases and prejudices do you carry? Are they keeping you from relationships that could be of great help to you? Deal with them quickly and open yourself up to greater levels of progress.
4. Presuming to know the motives of others. Many arguments arise out of a presumptuous judgement of other peoples’ motives. Take time to find out what other people are thinking. If in doubt, make no final judgements until there is clarity.
5. Unresolved issues can try to keep you from receiving people who have nothing but good intentions in their hearts toward you. The biblical Judas’ betrayal of Jesus was likely prompted by unresolved issues in his heart.  You may be so close to well-meaning people around you who can get you to your next level; yet unresolved issues of the heart can lead to regretful decisions. Judas ‘killed’ his helper because he did not bring the unanswered questions of his heart to Jesus for clarity. In contrast, John the Baptist another follower of Jesus, sought answers when he became confused about who Jesus really was; thus, avoiding bitterness. If you have people around you whose motives or behaviours you don’t understand, talk to them. Their response may surprise you and help lift long-held burdens keeping you from getting the best from them, and them from you.
6. Other hindrances to benefitting from relationships are pride, hatred and jealousy. Realise that you have nothing to fear from the well-meaning people around you. Do your bit to live at peace with everyone without being a people pleaser. Keep humble, love all people and realise that you carry great potential to be as great as you can dream of.

We must make sure these relationship destroyers are not in us and where we sense them, we must commit ourselves to eliminating them and not spoil the relationships that would be of great help to us.

Remember this, nothing you do in love will ever be wasted. A good harvest awaits you or someone you love in the future.